The War Continues...Tit for tat??

So Ch goes to her best friend's house, which is across the street, almost every weekend when she isn't at our house. She was over there again last weekend, and didn't bother to speak to any of us again. Carla had even talked to her about it. Yet, she spent the whole day over there and not one word to us. We were invited over, because it was a potluck. But we had a ballgame and some other things. By the time we would have gotten there, Charlie's wife would be there. She was invited also. I guess because Ch lives there now, they feel the need to associate with them. I told them we couldn't come because we refused to associate with her or Charlie. Even Carla's mom was apalled that Ch was acting like that. Ch knows her grandparents are at our house every weekend (they're moving in next door). Ok, so Charlie calls on Tues. and Thurs. C's best friend invited her to her family reunion. It was going to fall on Charlie's weekend. When he called on Tuesday, Carlie told him she was not coming to his house over the weekend. He was very short with her and pretty much hung up right away. Then on Wed., C had a softball game. The other stepmother was there with her two kids and Ch. No Charlie, even though he had said he was coming. So Ch comes running by us. Ignores us completely! The bitch stepmother, Ralf, says "Did you say hi?" So then Ch says "Hi Kris". I just kind of flipped my hand up at her. She ignores us the entire rest of the game. Doesn't even speak to Cadence. I warned J to stay away from her, cause I knew she would be nasty to him like she always is when other people are around. So, near the end of the game, I see Charlie come and leave. C was sitting on the bench and I could tell she was really pissed at him. Carla calls me and says "Did you see what happened with Ch's nose?" Evidently they thought she may have broken her nose. We find out later that it's only bruised, and that it happened because they were in the school unsupervised and playing around. Charlie only showed up to take Ch to the ER. So he didn't see any of C's game. Even though he went over to her and told her that she played well. How stupid does he think she is?? So he calls Thursday. He again says how she did well at her game. She says "Dad, you weren't even there". He then made up some excuse about how he was held up at work, and then he had to take Ch cause she broke her nose. C says "it wasn't broken, just bruised". Then he said that the doc called the next day and said it was broken. Yet, it wasn't wrapped/set when we saw her at the neighbor's. So I hear C say "so now it's broken?" We weren't told this, so I said "We were told it wasn't broken, so they need to get the story straight." Charlie then says to C, "tell her to shutup". C promptly hung up on him before he could get another word out. I was proud of her for standing up to him about the game, and for hanging up when he was being ignorant. He hasn't called her since then!! Mature, right? Ok, so this week has been Carla's birthday and J's bday. This weekend is Mother's Day. And we usually do cake and coffee for the kids' bdays on the weekend after them. Now, all of a sudden, today, Ch calls Carla and says "i really don't want to come this weekend." WHAT???!! It's fucking Mother's day! She says to Carla "maybe we can have lunch or something on Sunday". So she KNOWS it's mother's day and doesn't care. Carla basically didn't say much to her. She knows that Charlie wants her to overreact and get pissed so that he can say that she is loud and yells all the time. But Carla didnt' even ask why Ch didn't want to come. My feeling is that Charlie orchestrated this, knowing it was mother's day. He is pissed at C, and probably thinks that we put her up to it. Which isn't true at all. Now, C isn't going on the next weekend either, cause we're doing J's actual party and going to the movies. I offered to drop her off at his house after the movie on Saturday, but she declined. So I guess we'll see if Ch then decides not to come again on the last weekend of the month. We were going to have family pics taken this weekend. We never got to do it last time Ch was here. So besides wanting to kill Charlie, this is putting a huge wedge between Carla and I. It makes me sick what Charlie is doing to Ch..how he has turned her against her family. We have never done anything but support this child. I just can't understand how Carla can let him manipulate her and take her child from her. I would be fighting tooth and nail. It would be different if I thought she was making her own decisions. But I think he is using bribery to keep her away. Carla says I should just get over it. I don't know how. Honestly, I would have been fine with her not coming. C does it when it's his weekend as well. But it's MOTHER"S DAY! So Ch is now spending mother's day with her stepmother...a person that Carla despises more than anyone. Did I mention that Charlie's wife is Carla's ex best friend of 20 yrs?? Ugh! Someone tell me I will get over this please! Tell me how to deal. I'm so frustrated and hurt. And I worry that it will be the end of mine and Carla's relationship. Why isn't she fighting for her daughter?